Parent-Teacher Conference Really Awkward For School Orphan
Valedictorian or burnout, varsity captain or mathlete, rosy cheeked freshman or established senior, no matter what your skill or status, the first Tuesday back from winter vacation holds the same fate for every Collegiate student…
The Parent Teacher Conference
This merging of academic and home life carries a certain dread for students, as the idea of flunked quizzes and missing homeworks being brought up to their parents would make anyone shudder. But for Burt Ringleton, Collegiate’s school orphan, the day offers a set of steeper emotional challenges.
Ever since he was dropped on the doorstep of Collegiate’s building in a picnic basket in the early 2000’s, Burt has been an irreplaceable staple of the school’s community. His affinity toward mid-century garb, harmonica expertise, and effortless smile serve as a much needed bright spot in the drudgery that comes with day to day life in a high school. Despite the everlasting ray of sunshine Burt is, days like this can’t help but feel a little gray.
As he watches his fellow students stroll through the halls accompanied by their moms and dads, the sting of something missing lingers. “Being the school orphan isn’t always as fun as you would think,” Burt admits. While the positives of such a life include privileges like having no curfew or chores to worry about, Burt also wants to remind people of the negatives, “I also have no parents.”
This noticeable lack of parental figures in Burt’s life makes planning his parent-teacher conference a little tricky. Leading the school to explore alternative options so as to not cause everyone’s favorite orphan to feel excluded. Although there were multiple different attempts to create an orphan-friendly experience, unfortunately, none were successful. The “Student-Teacher Conference” proved more sad than effective, and the “solo field trip” including a showing of Annie off-broadway felt a little too on the nose.
Despite the community’s best efforts, it seems a day surrounding the importance of the family unit will never be a happy one for a guy like Burt. Some have even said that they could hear the somber tune of his trademark harmonica echoing throughout the school Tuesday night.
It’s a hard knock life, indeed.
Willie Nuttall